Freshmen
by Leigh Phillips
Summary: Four teens learns what it means to grow up in this story based off the popular 1990's song by The Verve Pipe
1. Preface

Preface Jeremy

I couldn't handle it. She screamed, her pain breaking me to the core. I wanted to run in and hold her hand. I hated seeing her like this. This was my fault. All my fault.

She looked at me, and immediately I ran into the room.

I reached for her hand, and clutched it. She gave me a weak smile. She parted her lips as if to speak and a scream broke through them. A tear pricked my eye. _All my fault._

She closed her eyes, an expression of pure pain displaying itself. She opened them, tears flowing.

"I love you Jeremy," she whispered, "I love you."

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you too."

Ember:

I screamed as pain ripped through me. It was too early, far too early. I felt the truth of the fact burn through me. I felt it in my bones. I knew that one of us wouldn't survive. I bit my lip hard, trying to hold back the screams. I had seen a glimpse of Jeremy's face, and I couldn't bare to see it in that kind of agony again. He hadn't asked for this. Neither of us had. But we had gotten it any way.

I screamed again. "SUGAR HONEY ICED FRICKIN TEA!"

The doctor smiled weakly at my language. I had decided to stop swearing after this line of events. I was going to be a better person now, and it started with that.

My mother grimaced from behind the glass. I glared at her. She was making this worse. So much worse.

Michael:

I stared at the tears running down Ember's face. I had never seen her like this before. She was so different. She was stronger, smarter, and I had never seen her feel so much for someone else.

She had grown up so much in just a few months.

My mind fluttered to Brittnee. She hadn't. She was still a kid. She was still the girl who's biggest concern was her color of lip gloss. I thought about that and how much I cared about her. I also thought about how impossible a future was anymore.

I turned to her, and grabbed her arm. "Hey…" she smiled, "Umm…we need to talk."

Brittnee:

I felt pain welling inside me. I had never felt so alone. Ember had always understood me, but now she was different. She saw things differently, her perspective had changed.

She had grown up.

And I wanted to kill her for it.

I knew it was wrong, I knew that was so wrong. But I couldn't help it. I felt completely betrayed. I know it had all been an accident. I knew that, but I didn't feel that.

She had grown up, and left me behind. She'd left me with all my fears, all my sorrows. She had seemed to forget about me completely. I thought about how often I had taken a razor to my leg in the past months. More frequently than ever before.

And it was all because, my stupid best friend, had to leave me behind.

My stupid best friend who was suffering more pain than I could even comprehend. My stupid best friend who I had absolutely no right to be upset with.

I stared at her on the hospital bed, screams erupting from her lungs. I felt so alone, like she and I were in different worlds now.

_Good thing I still have Michael… _


	2. Chapter 1: Jeremy

Chapter 1 Jeremy

I stepped onto the steps of the school frowning. It was overcast, to be expected in Seattle Washington, but it still made me feel bleh. I missed the sun. I hated to admit it, but I missed California and its sunshine enough to want to cry at times. Not ball, but maybe a little tear you know. A manly tear.

I missed everything. I missed the beach. The beaches here didn't count because they were always cold. I hated cold. I missed the warmth. I missed my friends, but most of all, I missed my girlfriend.

Back home, I had been the man to be. I was athletic, popular, a jock. I had it going on! I was kid everyone secretly wished they were. And though I feel cocky admitting it, I wasn't too shabby looking either. And like every jock I had dated a cheerleader. It was simply part of the trade. And Stacy was the epitome of cheerleader. She was gorgeous, a blonde of course. Fake as well. She had bright blue eyes that matched mine. She had a perky smile and the cutest little high pitched voice. Also she was a great kisser. We had continued to date over the summer and their relationship had only heated up with the temperature.

Although it had lacked something. I mean sure, Stacy was a bombshell, but that was basically the end of it. We didn't really talk. We made out a lot, but talking…no.

I kind of hoped I'd find someone I could talk to someday.

Sure that had only been Middle School, but I knew for a fact High School would've basically been the same. I had friends who were Juniors, friends who were Sophomores. Climbing to the top again would've been easy. I knew that, and I wasn't worried about that. What I was worried about was that, I would get bore of the top. And here, was different.

Here it was a completely different ball game.

The only kind of ball game I liked was basketball. This was not basketball.

When my parents had told me two months before that they would be moving to Seattle, I at first thought it wouldn't happen. Dad had threatened things like this before, but he would always clam up at the last minute. Dad just liked California too much to leave. But this time around, there was another player.

Mom.

If there was one thing I knew, it was that though quiet, my mother always got what she wanted. This time it was no different.

Before Mom had never had the desire to move, so it never happened. Dad would fall out, and Mom didn't care enough to push him back in. This time though, she had been the driving force. My mom had grown up in Seattle, it was home. When Pops was offered a better job, she wanted nothing more than to chase after it. And so now, here I was, walking into a school he had never seen before, wearing the longest sleeves I had ever dare worn in September, and hating the sky above my head more than I had ever thought was possible.

Suddenly I fell to the ground, concrete smacking his back. I cried out as I hit the solid pavement.

"What the!"

I looked up to see the whitest prettiest face he had ever seen.

A set of large brown eyes stared down back at me angrily. "What?" She said, "Never fallen before?"

I shrugged standing. "I have, but never to see such a beautiful face afterwards."

She rolled her eyes. I looked at her and taking her in. She was pale with large brown eyes. Her makeup was heavy; her lips a deep crimson and black tracing her eyes. Her lashes were long and framed her eyes. I grinned. She was doing good so far. She was tallish, five six or five seven. She wasn't stick thin, but she wasn't fat. She was just curvy enough. Her hair was ebony with the hint of light brown roots at the top. Streaks of crimson slipped in here and there.

"So, what's your name sweety?"

She rolled her eyes again, placing her lacy gloved hands on her hips. "You're pretty bold for a new kid."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm a bold guy."

She folded her arms. "I'm Ember, you?"

"Jeremy." I shot her a most winning smile. "I hope I get to see you later today."

She shot him a glare, "I'd rather not."

Then she walked off, leaving me ever so slightly smitten. It surprised me a little, how I had acted. Yeah, sure I was bold, but that bold. Not usually. And I usually didn't like her type. I was used to the California blondes with spray tans.

_You must want something a little new pal, just want something new._

I sat at the cold gray lunch table, surveying the room. It was split up into cliques. This was a town near Seattle, but we didn't actually live in it. It was large enough that cliques were everywhere, but small enough that there was a popular crowed. The big ones had their groups and cliques, but they weren't divided by popular and unpopular, for the fact that no one person could know everyone. The small ones were less cliquish, because in a small town people were basically all the same. But they did have a defining line between cool and uncool. This school was smack dab in the middle.

I could see the popular preppy group of kids not far off from me. My kin. They were dawned in Aeropostale and Hollister. A few tossed a football, another had a basketball spinning on his finger. The girls all wore short skirts, and tight shirts, despite the fact that it was chilly outside.

That was one thing that I had always disliked about the cheerleaders I had felt obligated to date. They were all kind of dumb, and cared more about looking "in" than being comfortable. Not to mention how awkward it was when you could see more butt than you thought was legal and they just flaunted it at you. It kind of bugged me, but I had just lived with it. It kind of was just what I had to do.

I shuddered and turned to the next definable clique. The clothing was slightly less fashionable, no name brands in sight. Lots of polo's and button up poked up around the table. A few pairs of glasses here and there, and no discernable sense of unity. Most of their clothes looked handed down. The nerds and outcasts. They just didn't fit in with anyone other than each other. They all liked manga, as could be seen by the various anime books on top of the table. I was sure if I stood up right then and walked towards them the conversation would be something in depth and odd.

I let my gaze fall on the table. Skateboards, beanies, shags. It was pretty obvious who these guys were. There were a few girls in the crowd, and those that were there had large shoes with tight shirts and cargo pants. A few outlandish hairstyles poked up but nothing too extreme. The most extreme thing these people did was on the half pipe. I grinned thinking of my best friend back home. He would definitely fit in with this crowd, he ate drank and breathed the half pipe.

Next, the gangsters. The majority of the crowd was darker skinned, with baggy pants on the men, and tight booty shorts on the girls. Bling nearly blinded Jme in its abundance. I wanted to laugh. You could practically here the downtown in their voice. The very edge of the table was just close enough for me to hear, and when I listened I picked up words like "dawg," and "cracker," as much as you would hear "like," if you were talking to valley girls.

Next, the normals. These were the kids who were wallflowers. They just kind of looked like the backdrop of a movie. They weren't out of style, but they didn't wear Nordstrom. Most of them were pretty smart. They were just the normal teenagers. They blended in and filled in the rest of the school.

But at the farthest edge of the cafeteria was the crowd that had nearly been nonexistent in California, but here envied a spiders offspring in numbers.

The Goth's. The Emo's. The Punk's. They were all ever so slightly different from one another, but they all found a way to coexist. The Goth's were the most extreme in clothing, wearing black victorianish clothing. The Punk's had the most outlandish hair, Mohawks could been seen peaking over the top of the crowd. And the Emo's, well they were the subtlest. The clothing less…intense, the hair falling down in their eyes instead of standing straight up. It didn't shock much that these three cliques who were able to coexist so comfortably often got confused for one another. Despite a few minor differences they often shared much in appearance. Their favorite color was black, they loved concert t-shirts probably more than their mother.

I smiled a little finding Ember in the crowd. She fit right in. I hadn't noticed before but she was wearing a long black sleeve shirt, with a ripped red lacy tank top overtop. She had a medium length black skirt with a torn up bottom. Fishnets poked out from beneath and she wore red plaid converse. She looked pretty good.

Pretty darn good.

I glanced back at the preps, then again at the midnighters (as they had been called back home). They were completely different worlds and were farthest from each other. Suddenly a girl broke from the preppy crowd and crossed the cafeteria. Then, Ember, also pulled away from her group. They were walking towards each other, and met in the middle. They laughed and started walking together. They turned towards me and started heading in my direction. I was a little excited, maybe I'd get a chance with the gothic deary. Sweat started pooling on my forehead. Ember broke her eyes from her friend and they landed on me. She frowned and gave me an angry look. _Yeah…she doesn't like me. _They arrived at the table and she crossed her arms.

"Really? Do you have to be everywhere?"

"Hey!" I defended, "I saw you once today!"

The girl with Ember laughed. She was a petite blonde with a pink Aeropostale t-shirt. Her hair fell down in ringlets and her eyes were blue. Just like mine. This was my type, the cheerleader. But for some reason, I didn't think she was near as pretty as Ember. It was slightly out of character, and a little unnerving. I was picking Gothic Princess over Peppy Blonde?

"Well you obviously got off on the wrong foot with the new kid."

Ember shrugged. "I knocked him down on accident, and well, he hit on me."

The pink girl laughed again. She turned to me, "That's pretty bold hitting on this one." She nudged Ember with her shoulder. "She doesn't play that game."

"Not unless he has a soul, which obviously, you don't." Ember spit. She sat down pulling a small brown bag around in front of her. Pinky followed.

"Well, I should've known she didn't." I said, then grinned winningly at Pinky. "Hopefully, you do though?"

Pinky rolled her eyes. "Well, maybe a little. But sorry buster. I'm taken."

Suddenly a tall, sandy blonde, jock plopped down next to me. "Yes she is." He smiled at me and stuck out a hand. "Hi, I'm Michael, and you are?"

I smiled back. It was a bit unexpected to be approached by the top of the food chain on day one. But hey, I'd take what I could get! "Jeremy, nice to meet you." I turned to Pinky, "And you are?"

She grinned, "Brittnee, my friends call me Brit."

I cocked my head, and shot her another winning smile. I was full of those "Can I call you Pinky?"

She giggled, "That works too!"

Ember rolled her eyes.

I looked around at the people next to me. "This is an interesting welcoming committee."

Ember gave me a look. "You took our table."

I stood immediately, mocking her. "Oh, please, I don't mean to intrude," I said sarcastically. I plopped back down and grinned wickedly at Ember. She grimaced at me. She had a cute grimace

Michael and Pinky laughed. "Sorry about Ember," Michael amended. "She doesn't take well to new people."

Pinky nodded, "Not unless they have hair in their eyes." Then Pinky poked Ember in the arm. Ember let a grin slip.

"Hey, those are the cutest ones!"

I nodded. _Figures…_ "I can work that look if you want."

Michael chuckled, "Your hair ain't dark enough pal!"

I threw my hands up, feeling comfortable already. "What? It's dark brown!"

Pinky leaned forward, "But it's not black. Ember's picky."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "Darn, but you know what?" I leaned forward. Ember looked up expectantly. I grinned flirtatiously, "I like a challenge."

She rolled her eyes, a grin on her face. "I'd like to see you try."

"Oh, honey, I will."

It was effortless for the four of us to become fast friends. Just like my first day at the lunch table was effortless. Pinky thought I was funny which of course I was. Michael just liked having a best guy friend. He had apparently lost his a while back when Ember's ex moved away. The three of them, Ember, Michael, and Pinky, had been best friends since preschool. They had been neighbors for years, and Michael had been in love with Brittnee for years. She finally realized it last year, and they started dating. Ember had started dating this guy Dean, and he and Michael became fast friends. It was funny to me how it worked. Pinky and Michael were full-fledged preps. Ember, a full fledge midnighter. Yet they all thoroughly enjoyed one another's company. Ember had a razor sharp wit and kept Pinky and Michael entertained. Pinky was pretty blonde, and was obviously the naïve child of the group. Ember saw her as her little sister, and wanted to protect her. Michael was actually pretty smart for a group and he and Ember were basically like siblings as well. They were a funny little family, but somehow I found my place in it as well. Michael and I became best friends instantly, all it took was one Star Wars marathon that I was invited to by Pinky, and we were bound. The inner nerd in us cried out together in one voice. It was classic when we started debating whether Anakin was really the cause of Padme's death.

But what I thought was most curious of all was Ember and I. Heck, the affect she had on me, she got me to use the word curious.

We bickered, and exchanged banter almost constantly. I'd like to say my wit was nearly as good as hers, and we kept each other on their toes. It was surprisingly enjoyable, the bickering. I had never liked fighting, when my aunt and uncle had gotten a divorce, all they did was fight. It made me sick to listen to it. They would come over, and five minutes into the visit they'd be arguing about something ridiculous. But this was different. This had a lighter more playful tone. I liked it. I liked having a disagreement but enjoying it, instead of wanting to break something.

And I'm pretty sure Ember liked it too.

We were always poking fun at each other and joking. I called her Albino, or whitey, and she called me Wannabe and Loser. They weren't very cutesy pet names, but it fit Ember and I.

And weirdly enough, I'd never felt happier. And if I had, I didn't remember it.

Back home sometimes it felt like I was living on big lie.

Here it didn't feel like that. I felt like I fit in. I could be myself. Sure, I'd hang with the popular kids at school now, and I'd often do stuff with them. But without fail, every time at lunch I went with Michael and Pinky to sit with Ember. It was the perfect fit for me. I didn't have to disguise any aspect of myself. I could be the real me and not feel like a freak. My friends accepted me, all of me. And usually had something just as quirky up there sleeve. Pinky was obsessed with Punk Rock, Michael liked history more than football, and Ember watched _Say Yes to the Dress_ willingly. They all were different but fit together.

I was happy, I felt like I had found somewhere where I belonged.


	3. Chapter 2: Jeremy

Chapter 2 Jeremy

"No, no, no, no!" Ember laughed. "You are completely wrong!"

I threw up my arms, "I am not!"

Michael grinned. "Dude, you're wrong."

Pinky nodded, giggling. "Hey, she's a girl, she's always right. Don't take it too hard."

I rolled his eyes and crossed my arms. I had styled his hair in a way I knew Ember would like. It was down, a shaggier look. The hair hung just over my eyebrows. Usually I would've gone to the effort of spiking it, but lately as I started feeling more and more for Ember, the gothic beauty, I felt like the need to impress her. I couldn't explain it, but I would give anything to see her smile. When we had all gone to my house to have a Lord of the Rings marathon, we all fell asleep. All four of us fell asleep on my couch sprawled out randomly. Of course at some point in the night Pinky had found her way into Michael's arms. And somehow…Ember had founder her way into mine. I woke up with my arms wrapped around her and her head pressed into my far shoulder. I'd also woken up with my hair flat and laying on my face. Later after she had woken up, she told me she liked it that way. That it made me look, "sensitive". But when she was there asleep on my shoulder, something happened.

During that moment, I realized that I really had genuine feelings for her. We joked about me crushing, thinking she was cute. And she was. But it was then that I realized how much more there was beyond that face. That what was beneath it was even more precious. Was she beautiful there too? Yes, but there was so much more to her than just her vampire beauty. She was funny, and didn't really take advice from anyone. She did what she wanted and she made me feel like I was good. Like I was a person worth knowing. Like maybe, just maybe, I could be happy here.

At that moment I had a new goal. Win the heart of Ember Williams. And so far, I had no idea how that was going.

Ember poked his side. "So now that you've accepted defeat," she put the words in my mouth, "you in for tonight?"

I cocked his head, confused. "Tonight?"

Pinky nodded, "Remember we're all going moonlight swimming at the lake."

My eyes widened. "Are you guys crazy?"

Michael nodded, "But, I'm pretty sure you knew that."

I smiled, and glanced around. Michael sat across from me, with his arm draped over Pinky. And Ember sat next to him. _If we went swimming…_

"Is it just us?"

Ember grinned, "Are there any other losers who hang out with us?"

I grinned, "No, I think not." I thought for a minute, concocting a plan. _If I could get Ember alone_… _Michael and Pinky were sure to want some time alone too…_"Okay," I turned to Michael and grinned. "I'm in."

Michael's car pulled up in front of my house. I glanced the clock. It was nearly ten. I worried about how cold the water would be. Would my little toes freeze off?

_ Probably, sounds fun._

I opened the door and ran out in my swim trunks, with a white t-shirt overtop. I squinted making out Pinky in the front seat. I smiled when I saw that her bikini was pink as well. It was hot pink and covered in sequins. I wanted to laugh. She was in the passenger seat. I scooted into the back seat, turned to Ember and smiled.

As usual, she looked stunning. She was wearing a black Paramore concert t-shirt, covering her swimsuit. Her hair was pulled up in a slightly messy ponytail. Her makeup was mostly gone, except for the light remnants that could only be left for time to remove. She turned to me and smiled. "Hey Wannabe. Ready to party in the moonlight?"

I grinned, "Of course Whitey!"

Michael laughed, "You two were made for each other." He had Pinky's hand in his. He started heading towards the lake, music blasting.

All American Rejects burst out of the speakers and we all sang along. I stopped at one point and listened to Ember's voice. It was pretty, and not like Brittnee's was. Brittnee had the voice of a bird, light and sweet. Ember's voice had a unique tone to it, and was strong. It was different, but beautiful.

Ember stopped singing and turned to me, "What's wrong loser?"

I shrugged, "I'm just thinking…"

"A dangerous pastime."

I grinned at her movie reference. "I know."

We arrived at the beach and all piled out of the car. Michael and Pinky immediately ran to the beach. Michael picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She giggled as he carried her out to the water and dunk her under. She screamed and Ember and I laughed.

Ember and I stood beside the car. We watched Michael and Pinky splash in the water for a moment. I glanced at Ember's expression. She looked like a mother, watching her little girl fall in love. I smiled at that. Ember was so protective of Pinky. She couldn't have been happier that Michael was the one who fell for her.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and gestured to a piece of beach a little ways off. It was shadowed by trees and looked rather private. Ember gave me a peculiar look but nodded. We started walking towards that piece of beach. I couldn't have planned it better. We would be alone, and I would win her heart.

At least, that was the plan.

We made it to the little piece of beach and I sat down. She looked down at me, a suspicious look in her eyes.

I patted the ground next to me and smiled up at her. "Please sit by me."

She rolled her eyes and plopped down next to me. "As you wish!"

I laughed. "If I remember that movie correctly, which I'm sure I do, when he said 'As you wish' what he was really saying was 'I love you.'"

She gave me a wicked grin. "Well, I'm not Westly am I?"

I shook my head, my arms supporting me from behind. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and had her arms folded on top of them. "No, you're Ember. Thankfully…"

She gave me a funny look. "What's so bad about Westly?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well nothing. I mean other than him being a dude, but other than that nothing. He's just not you."

She gave me a very confused half smile. "Wait a second!"

I turned, "Yes Ma'am?"

"How is Westly being a dude a bad thing!"

I laughed at her. "It's not. I'm just saying that I don't feel that way about him."

She cocked her head confused. "Feel what way?"

I grinned weakly, suddenly terrified at the reaction my confession would cause. "The way I feel about you."

Her face suddenly changed from confused to…well I'm not quite sure what it was. It was a mix of terror, embarrassment, and though I believed it to be a figment of my imagination, happiness.

She suddenly looked down and started drawing circles in the dirt. "And," she started, "what way is that exactly?"

I looked up at the stars suddenly very very nervous. "The way Westly felt about Buttercup…"

I glanced back at her. She bit her lip. She glanced up at me. "So…" she fiddled with a stick in her hands, "if I were to say…" She looked up out of the corner of her eye contemplating, "kiss me…"

My breath caught, and I could hear her release one.

"What would you say?"

Now we were staring at each other. I smiled slightly.

"As you wish."

Then I leaned in and kissed her. I gently placed my palm on the side of her face and pulled her face towards mine. The moment our lips met I smiled. It was perfect, the way it felt. I felt warmth spring through me. Electricity seemed to race through my blood. The electricity doubled when she kissed back. She reached her hands around my neck and pulled me in tighter. She entwined her fingers in my hair. Her fingers sent chills down my spine. I placed one hand on the small of her back and pulled her in tighter. She was on my lap now, her soft chest pressed against my hard one. One of her hands reached higher up into my hair while the other plunged into my collar.

I gasped for air, a shudder running through me.

She pulled back a little and I opened my eyes. She stared at me for a moment, her eyes dark.

"Wow…" I whispered.

She smiled weakly. "Yeah…wow…"

I laughed quietly. "That was…"

She grinned, "I know."

Then I kissed her again.

That was one of the best nights of my life. I had never felt so good. The way Ember's hair fell on my face, and how her lips molded with mine. It was enough to make it hard to think about anything else for hours. When I was finally able to keep my hands off her for longer than a minute I asked the all important question.

"This is more than just a hook up for you right?"

She rested her head on my shoulder and laughed. "If you recall I don't usually go for guys who are like you, let alone hook up with them. I like you more than that Jeremy."

I smiled. "So…if we went to school tomorrow and I say…held your hand, you wouldn't freak out?"

She shrugged, "Oh, I don't know. Depends on your definition of freak out. Want to jump a little for joy and make out with you wherever we are? Possibly. Yell at you and tell you to leave me alone for the rest of my life? No, I doubt it."

I smiled again. "Good, and I wouldn't mind the first reaction."

She chuckled. "I didn't think you would."

And there we sat, we sat and our fingers entwined.

_Yup, this is where I wanted to be._


	4. Chapter 3: Ember

Chapter 3 Ember

I climbed onto my bed, my face glowing a smile permanently plastered on.

Brittnee giggled as she followed me into my room. "So, I'm guessing Michael wasn't too far off base when he guessed that you and Jeremy were enjoying your privacy?"

I shrugged, sinking into my pillows. "Oh, I don't know. Have you ever seen me so happy?"

Brittnee leaned over me, assessing me. She smiled, "No, well maybe that one time when you were asleep on his shoulder. You were very sleep smiley."

I rolled my eyes, still smiling. "Ah…what's wrong with me?"

Brittnee shrugged, and sat beside me on the bed. "You're in love."

I shook my head. "No, I am not in love. I am in heavenly like. I may be a little lovesick, but I am not _in _love."

Brittnee cocked her head and looked down on me. "What exactly is the difference?"

"Love doesn't fade." I said quite simply. "Love stays forever and never dies. Lovesickness however is just like any other illness. It happens every once in awhile, just like catching a cold. In a bit, you get over it. With lots of rest, and plenty of fluids, you get over it even quicker."

Brittnee suddenly clasped my hand and started pulling me up.

"Brittnee! What the heck?"

She laughed as she pulled and pulled. "No resting! I don't want you to get better! Stay a lovesick fool!"

I laughed with her. I sat up, and pulled my hand back.

"Fine, then I guess I can't have any liquids either."

Brittnee shook her head. "Nope…" she paused and thought for a moment. "Coke doesn't count as a liquid does it?"

I shook my head. "No of course not, it's obviously a solid."

Brittnee nodded, grinning. "I completely agree. Let's celebrate you and Jeremy's falling in heavenly like with a can of solid refreshing coca cola!"

I laughed at that. "Oh Brittnee, I conquer!"

I looked at myself in the mirror. I kept fidgeting, pulling my shirt down, poofing my hair, flattening it again. I felt anxious for some reason.

Okay, so I knew what the reason was exactly. I was seeing Jeremy again and I was a little unnerved.

I was wearing a black and red dress. It was short, and looked slightly fairy-like in its design. It was sleeveless and I wore a long sleeve black shirt underneath. I had my black leggings underneath, the lacy ones that weren't torn. On the bottom, I had my cargo boots.

My hair was spilt into a half ponytail, if you could even call it that. Most of my hair was still down; I had only pulled back about an inch down from the crown of my head.

I smiled at myself, my white teeth showing.

"Okay," I sighed, "I can do this…"

We all sat at the lunch table, and to the outside eyes, it looked like nothing was different.

But everything was.

Michael and Brittnee were the same. He had his arm around her, she was giggling, and he was grinning. Nothing had changed for them.

Jeremy squeezed my hand under the table. I felt warmth crawl up my arm. I turned to look at him. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

Everything had changed for us.

"Seriously Jeremy? What is wrong with you?"

He laughed leaning up against the wall. "Um…if you ask my doctor, nothing. But my mother of course is not convinced, so if you ask her, a lot."

I nodded, "I think I'd be siding with her."

He leaned forward grinning. "Of course you would."

I let a grin slip.

He leaned back sighing. "Well, if you don't like it that much we can bail…"

I sighed rolling my eyes. I uncrossed my arms, giving in. "Fine, we'll do it."

He perked up immediately, standing straighter, a bright smile lighting his face.

"You're the best girlfriend a guy could have."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, remember that."

It was funny, how Jeremy and I got closer and closer every day. I wasn't used to this, it was…out of character. I usually kept people at a distance, not really wanting that human connection everyone else seemed ready to kill for. But there I was, telling this boy everything about me, and listening as he told me everything about him. We didn't need to be doing something spectacular, we could just be sitting in the park and I didn't want to be anywhere else. We could talk for hours, and kiss for just as long. After that crazy dinner with his parents that he set up, I never felt uncomfortable in his home again. He lived in a small little suburban neighborhood, with a medium sized house, average middle class. I was worried about that. I was…well I was a midnighter as Jeremy would say. And if that weren't enough, I hadn't been middle class for one moment in my entire life. Even after my dad died my mom had enough money from the insurance, his company, and her inheritance to keep us at the top. I knew how to fake it with high society snobs, not middle class normal people.

Surprisingly, it went well.

I sat at Jeremy's table, glad I had worn a more subtle outfit. He had told me to be myself, but I was nonetheless scared that "myself" would scare away his poor parents. When I had arrived, his dad was in a suit without the jacket, and his mother in a blazer and skirt. I had felt very underdressed in my black t-shirt and jeans. But by dinner time, his parents had changed. His dad now wore jeans and an LA Lakers t-shirt, and his mom a simple green t-shirt.

At first, it was awkward. They asked me questions like "what do your parents do?" "ever been to California?" "what are your plans for the future?" I wanted to scream. My answers were short, and unelaborated.

Then finally something happened.

"So," Jeremy's mom started, "From what I've heard, you're a bit of a punk…"  
>I smiled weakly, letting the answer roll off my tongue. "Ha, only the genuine punk. Social Distortion and Toy Dolls are my staple."<p>

I looked down at my food; a little worried I'd possibly offended them. I had almost told them they were too dumb to know real punk.

"Nellie the elephant popped her trunk and said goodbye to the circus," a small voice sang. I looked up to see Jeremy's mom smiling at me.

My eyes widened. "Oh really?"

His dad pointed his fork at me. "We may look like your average John and Jane Doe, but take our word for it. We had our days." He gave me a knowing smile.

I glanced at Jeremy and his eyes widened a little. "Umm…I never knew about this!"

His mom shrugged. "You were never interested."

His dad nodded, "You were a jock, you would never understand our days of punk."

He rolled his eyes, "Aren't I supposed to be the one complaining about you never understanding me?"

His dad chuckled. "Supposedly."

I turned back to his parents grinning. "Well, tell me then!"

After that I was never nervous at their house again. I got along better with his parents than he did. It was actually pretty funny how that worked. But I wasn't complaining. Not at all.


	5. Chapter 4: Ember

Chapter 4 Ember

I sat under the trees gazing up into the stars. We had all taken a road trip to the peninsula that weekend. Jeremy was driving and at the moment we were all camping somewhere in Olympic National Forest.

Michael and Brittnee had gone to bed. Jeremy and I were lying on the beach, and I was gazing at the stars.

We were right on the Hood Canal, on the edge of the forest. The water lapped lightly at the sand.

I had my head in Michaels lap, and he was propped up on his arms.

I looked up at him, and smiled. He was staring down at me, looking happy.

"What are you grinning for?" I poked him in the leg.

He shrugged and pushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. "I think it might be because I have the most beautiful girl in the world lying in my lap right now."

I rolled my eyes, and turned to look at the canal. "The most beautiful? I doubt it."

He chuckled. "She is to me, and that's what's important."

I sighed, contemplating things in my mind. "Jeremy…" I whispered.

He sat up straight and leaned over me, our gazes locking. "Yes?" he whispered back.

My eyes softened and I could feel my body weakening under his eyes. "Do…do you love me?"

His eyes widened a little at that. I had guessed that would happen. It had only been a few weeks. Stuff like that was pretty intense for two freshmen, but I had to know. I had never felt like this before, and yes I know that's what everyone says. When I was with Jeremy I felt happy, at peace. I felt like the world could fall to pieces around me, and I'd still have hope. Why? Because I'd have him at my side.

If that wasn't love, then I will never understand love and what it is.

He looked away from me for a moment. I sat up and crossed my legs, pulling them to me.

He turned back to me, eyes burning. "You know what?"

I bit my lip, nervous.

"I think I do." A smile broke out on his face.

I laughed in relief. "You scared me for a second there!"

He laughed as well, "Well you asked a hard question! It's not like I go around telling people I'm in love with them every day!"

I laughed again and scooted closer to him on the coarse sand. "Sorry honey, I'll remember you don't like hard questions next time."

He chuckled bending down so our faces were at the same level. "Well now I have one for you."

I nodded, smiling. "Anything."

He presses his head against mine, his voice low and quiet. "Do you love me?"

I rolled my eyes, and laughed. "I thought that was pretty obvious."

He laughed too, and shrugged. "Well, I just had to make sure."

I grinned and pulled back a little, meeting his eyes. "I love you."

He cocked his head to the side like he often did. "I think I love you more."

Then he kissed me, and I burst into flames.

I gasped for breath, the sand matted in my hair, my arms holding Jeremy, pulling him closer. He chuckled.

"You doing okay sweetheart?"

I smiled, opening my eyes. "Of course, I could do this all night?"

He grinned wickedly. "We could test that…"

I rolled my eyes, "You would like that wouldn't you?"

He shrugged under me. "It sounds pretty good to me."

I giggled. "Well then, okay."

I kissed him, running my hand down his chest. We were both in our swimsuits. Before I had been wearing a t-shirt and so had he. But those were gone within a few minutes.

He placed his hand on my hip pulling me closer, as if that were even possible. Every part of me was pressed up against him, and vice versa.

My heart hammered in my chest. He pulled his lips from mine and started kissing down my neck. Everywhere his lips touched burned. I felt the adrenaline and electricity course through my veins. I tipped my head back, sighing.

It was the perfect moment. Right then and there everything was right. Nothing could go wrong.

It simply couldn't go wrong.

We were driving home the next day. I turned in my seat to look at him.

_He's so…_I sighed inwardly.

We had already dropped off Michael and Brittnee at Pike's. They had wanted to stop and meet some people there. So now it was just me and Jeremy heading home.

The sun was setting behind the trees. I looked over at them, smiling. It was so beautiful, and I was feeling so good. I couldn't remember a time I had ever been so happy.

Jeremy squeezed my hand, which was in his. I turned.

"You okay?" he gave me a quick look.

I smiled at him, and then laid my head on his shoulder. "I feel great."

He chuckled, glancing down at me. I closed my eyes, the bright sunset seeping through my lips.

"Why are you so happy?"

I shrugged, eyes still closed, smile still glowing. "I just like being here with you."

He set his head down gently on top of mine. "I like it too."

For a moment we just rode in silence. Then we pulled up to my house.

He stopped the car and I sat up. We turned to each other and shared a look.

He looked up smiling, "You know, I've never met your mother."

I rolled my eyes, "Be thankful." I stopped and bit my lip. "She won't be here for two days…"

He looked at me, eyes widening. "Oh…"

I nodded slowly. "Yup."

Jeremy pushed the door open behind me. I had my legs wrapped around his waist, and he was carrying me in. My arms were wrapped around his neck. One, holding me up, the other entangled in his hair. I sighed, the feeling of my body melting into his soothing me. My heart raced, but at the same time I felt completely peaceful.

Jeremy slammed the door shut with his foot. I unwrapped my legs and he placed me gently on the steps, our lips staying close companions. His hand found its way to my face, while the other made itself comfortable on the small of my back. My breathing was heavy, and his matched. I felt the now welcome and intense electricity running through my body. It sang out in bliss.

Jeremy pulled away for just a few moments. "Where to?" he whispered quietly.

I opened my eyes, and smiled at him. I grabbed his hand from my back and started running up the stairs. He laughed as I tugged him, and followed close behind.

We made it to the end of the hall and I shoved my door open. I didn't waste time. I quickly turned back to face him.

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to me, roughness kissing my actions. He chuckled darkly when our lips met.

"Someone's excited…"

I giggled. "A little."

We backed into my room, our lips locked. Jeremy again closed the door behind us, keeping this moment private. I felt a rush of glee at that for some reason. It made it all the more special when it felt like a secret.

I wrapped my leg around his and tightened my grip around his neck. He kissed me harder, his arms tightening around me.

I fell back onto my bed, and giggled as the jar of motion split us apart momentarily. He laughed as well. For a brief second we just stared at each other. I gazed into his light blue eyes, and wondered at the emotion in them. If eyes truly are the gateway to the soul, in that moment I never wanted to be so connected to a soul more. I wanted to be part of him, and him part of me. Bonded, not just mentally and emotionally like I knew we already were, but physically. I wanted all of him.

He brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes, and beamed at me. "I love you." He whispered.

I smiled back, my heart burning in my chest. "I love you too."

Then he kissed me again, and we began our decent into what would be the biggest mistake of our lives.

I had, and have, never been so happy.

I opened my eyes, the sunlight burning through my lids. I outstretched my arms, trying to wake up my body. It screamed in protest, soreness in muscles I didn't think could get sore. I sighed, feeling peaceful and happy. I turned away from the window and jumped when I saw Jeremy smiling back at me.

"What!"

He laughed, shaking the bed. I breathed a sigh of relief, remembering the previous nights events.

"You startled me!"

He chuckled again, reaching out to stroke my face. "Sorry, but I have been her for a while."

I rolled my eyes and him and took stock of myself. I was wearing a bra, underwear, and a baggy t-shirt. I glanced down quickly to discover it was my _Corpse Bride _t-shirt. I looked back up into Jeremy's eyes.

He was glowing.

I smiled, "What makes you so happy?"

He shrugged, "Oh, I don't know…" he leaned in and kissed me gently, "you tell me."

I sighed as he pulled away, another wave of bliss crashing over me. "Umm…" I closed my eyes, "tuna fish?"

He laughed again. "No, not that."

"Cats?"

He laughed again and kissed my forehead. "Nope, and I'm going to kiss you for every time you guess wrong."

I grinned, "Okay, that does sound like torture, I better guess right." He chuckled, his laugh shaking me. He had his arms wrapped around me now.

"Umm…the Beatles?"

"Nope," he kissed my cheek.

"Tofu?"

"Not even close." He kissed my nose.

I liked this game.

I shrugged. "Oh, I give up."

He rolled his eyes, "I'll give you a hint. It starts with an E, a Y, or an M."

Now I was actually a little confused. "How can one thing start with three different letters?"

He snickered, his hand rubbing small little circles on my arm. "It depends on who is answering the question."

I nodded slowly. I bit my lip, contemplating. Then I gave up without really trying. "Okay, seriously I give up. Tell me Loser."

He grinned. "If someone asked you, you'd say 'Me', if someone asked me, I'd say "Ember,' if you asked me, I'd say 'You.'"

Then his kissed me again on the lips. I felt currents run from my lips through to the rest of my body. "Hey," I protested, "you said you were only going to kiss me if I guessed wrong! This is unfair!"

He shrugged under me, and I felt the smile on his lips. "Eh, I made the game, I make the rules."

Then he kissed me harder, and I lost track of my thoughts, and focused solely on how I felt.

I felt amazing.


End file.
